Short Stories with Tragic Endings

              My alarm went off at 5 a.m. and I sprung out of bed, which was completely unusual for me. I was anxious to get on the plane and see what life had in store for me out West. I looked around my semi-empty apartment for what felt like the last time. I was getting ready and Paddy-Cakes was sitting on the toilet seat watching me as she always did, like a little girl watching her mother get ready for a big event. This is a pretty big event, I thought.

“Are you going to miss mommy?” I asked Paddy as I touched her soft head. I felt guilty for leaving her, but knew that she would be in good hands. And it’s only for a few months, I convinced myself.

            An hour later, I was going over my check list to make sure I had everything when Dawn knocked at the door. I opened the door and she was standing there with a smile on her face, bundled up in her green winter coat, which matched her eyes. When I told Dawn that I was leaving, she offered to drive me to the airport, without ever questionning my reasons for wanting so desperately to leave. Somehow I think she knew I just needed to get away.

                Dawn and I were always complete opposites. Even looking at us side by side, you would never guess we were sisters. Dawn is naturally pretty with an olive skin tone, rosy chicks, luscious lips, and emerald eyes, which she inherited from my father. I, on the other hand, have bright blue eyes, my mother’s small lips and pointy features. Unlike me, Dawn knows what she wants and is determined to get it. She would never move across the country without a plan, but most of all, she would never run away. She had been with the same guy since high school and their life plan was set, or so she thought.

                “Looks like you have everything ready?’’ she said looking around the apartment. She continued “when does Audrey move in?’’

                “Today’’ I let out a sigh of relief as I thought about how Audrey offered to look after Paddy and live in my apartment. We had worked out a deal where I would wire the money to her account every month to cover Paddy's part of the rent and groceries. 

                “You should hurry up; doesn’t your plane leave in a few hours?’’ She asked me as she picked one of my suitcases.

               

                After a tearful goodbye with Paddy, I was in the car with Dawn. The air was crisp outside and the sky was white. It looked like there was going to be one last snow storm before winter would call it quits for another year. 

On the way to the airport I asked Dawn to stop at the storage unit where we had packed up my things at the beginning of the week. Dawn stayed in the car and waited for me as I dropped off one last thing. I unlocked the door and opened it, astonished that my entire life could fit into a 10X10 cubicle. Granted everything was stacked and looked like it could tumble down at any moment, it still amazed me. I looked around and already felt nostalgic. Before I knew it, I was crying. This is ridiculous, stop crying! I instructed myself. You hate that couch, I mentally tried to convince myself.

                I heard Dawn honk the horn and I gave her a ‘just a sec’ sign with my index finger. I reached into my bag and pulled out my laptop.

                “Time to say goodbye’’ I whispered under my breath. I placed it on the stack of boxes. It looked sad and lonely in its case. “Don't give me that look’’ I pointed to my laptop. I placed my hand on top of it and whispered “This is for the best’’ and closed the door before I could change my mind.

                I arrived back in the car and Dawn gave me a strange look.

 “Were you just talking to your furniture?’’ She inquired.

“Don't be silly’’ I said to her and paused. “I was talking to my laptop.’’ I said matter-of-factly.

“You really are one of a kind, you know that right?’’ She rolled her eyes at me.  

I smiled at her and pointed to the road ahead. “Onward, Jeeves!’’

            We arrived at the airport and after saying my goodbyes to Dawn and walking through security, I was finally at the terminal waiting for them to call for boarding. I kept looking over my shoulder whenever I heard a guy’s voice, my heart wishing that it was Phil. I laughed at myself, but never disregard it as a possibility.

Even an hour later, as I waited in line to board the plane, I continued to look behind me, hoping. I imagined it like a scene from a movie. Phil rushing down the gate. Our eyes would meet and he would cry out Wait, don’t go! I love you.

“Excuse me miss, your ticket?’’ said a woman dressed in a navy blue suit standing by the door that led to the plane.

“Oh! Sorry.’’ I said, acknowledging that I was “miss’’

I rummaged through my tote bag; under CD’s, over the lip-gloss, and through the stack of unpaid bills. I finally managed to pull out my ticket, along with a million other things. CD’s and papers went flying on to the floor, an opened bag of skittles poured out of my bag and I noticed a tampon roll under a chair and thanked god that I was the last one boarding. I squatted down, scooping and gathering the CD’s and papers, leaving the skittles and tampon behind. I walked through the door without even looking at the flight attendant.

“Miss! Excuse me, I think you might need this.’’ I heard her calling out after me.

Please don’t be the tampon, please don’t be the tampon, I silently prayed as I slowly turned around. She walked toward me and extended her hand.

“You might want to hold on to this one-way ticket.’’ she said with a laugh. “And I think you dropped something else.’’ She added.

“The tampon?’’ I questioned with hesitation and not wanting to look directly at her hand.

“I’m sorry?’’ She looked at me confused. Oops, I thought. She looked down at her hand and continued “No, err...have a nice trip?’’ She said in a questionning tone. “I’m assuming this is yours?’’ She handed me a CD.

“Oh errr...Thanks” I managed as I shoved in into my bag and rushed to the plane.

                I made my way to my seat even though I could barely see in front of me considering everything that I was carrying in my hands. As I took my seat and tossed everything onto the empty one next to me, I couldn’t help but remember the flight attendant’s tone as she said ‘’Have a nice trip?’’As if she were asking me question. Then again, everything about that encounter was odd, and I just wanted to forget it. I was about to take off and I felt excited when I thought about what would be waiting for me in four hours when the plane landed; a new beginning.

                “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome on board West Air flight 413-’’ I heard a man’s voice say as I looked for my CD player in my tote bag. “All passengers must be seated with your seatbelts securely fastened, your seat backs and table trays in their upright and locked positions-’’ the voice continued.             

                Honestly, where is that CD player? Maybe a four hour flight would be a good time to do a little tote cleaning, I mentally note.

                “Oh, there you are’’ I whispered to myself. I pulled it out, proud to have found it amidst the mess.        

                “At this time, all electronic devices must be switched off and stowed’’ stated the man in a firm tone.

                What? After all that work? Evil manly voice in the box, I thought. I placed the CD player by the mess on the seat next to me and decided to choose a CD while the flight attendants did their usual arm dance up front. I picked up a CD and looked through the listings on the back.

                 Finally, the plane took off and I looked out the window one last time before we were in the clouds. I miss Phil, I found myself thinking. No that’s wrong, you don’t miss him; a new beginning, I tried to convince myself. I waited for the seatbelt sign to go off and grabbed my headphones contemplating what CD to put in. I reconsidered the one on my lap and looked over at the pile on the seat next to me. I looked closer and reached for a packaging I had never seen before, and there in my hand laid a CD that read Have a Nice Trip. Confused, I opened the case and a note fell out onto my lap.

Here are twenty songs that remind me of you. 

Phil xX

  

                I stared at the note, my eyes filling with tears realizing that there was a possibility that I hadn’t just imagined Phil at the bar last night, maybe he really was there. The image of him at coat check flashed through my mind and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was there to put the CD in my bag, or if he had gotten someone else to do it. Either way, he had made me the perfect mixed CD and I couldn’t wait to listen to it. I immediately put the CD in the discman and hit the play button. The first song began and the CD player read Short Stories with Tragic Endings. I closed my eyes and listened to the lyrics. 

''You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment. And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of what I'll never have.'' A voice was singing into my ear. In that moment, as I listened to the words that reminded him of my, I realized that though he never told me, Phil felt the exact same way I did. I opened my teary eyes and looked around the plane and for the first time since making my decision to leave, I asked myself the question: Joyel, what the fuck are you doing?