A not so Fairy Tale Ending

I hopped out of the shower and put on my new birthday dress that Kat and I had picked out before she left for her road trip. I was straightening my hair and Paddy-Cakes was sitting on the side of the bath watching me get ready. She was happy to see me when I arrived merely an hour ago. Audrey must have told her that I was coming because when I opened the door to my apartment, Paddy was sitting there waiting.

“Did you miss mommy?” I kneeled down and gave her a kiss on the top of the head.

Malorie was on her way over to pick me up; she called right before I got in the shower and squealed when I answered. Keven and Simon were already at the bar waiting for us, which meant that Phil was probably there too – or least on his way. Everything was just like it used to be.

“Knock Knock” I heard Mal’s voice as she opened the door. Paddy jumped up and ran out of the bathroom to greet her.

“Wow, you look beautiful.” Malorie walked over to give me a hug and Paddy trotted behind her.

“Well, you know, I try.” I smiled and turned back to the mirror to finish applying my mascara. I examined myself and the mirror and had to admit that Mal was right. I looked great. At first, I wasn’t too sure about the dress as it was a tube top one and I always had this fear that one of my boobs would pop out if I lifted an arm, but after Kat made me dance around the changing room for 10 minutes and nothing happened I figured I was safe.

I slipped on my converse tennis shoes to make it seem like I wasn’t trying too hard and headed out the door after giving Paddy a few good-night treats.

“I’m so happy that you’re back birthday girl.” Malorie pulled out of the drive way. “Tonight is going to be so much fun.” She turned to me for a response, but I was looking out the window and lost in my own thoughts. “Are you OK?”

“Huh?” I turned to face her. “Oh, yeah, just…you know.” I let out a sigh. “To be honest, I feel like I’m about to vomit.” I whined. “And look” I lifted my hand “I’m shaking.”

“Gosh, how much coffee did you have?” Malorie stopped at a red light.

“It’s not the coffee.” I paused and then continued “I thought I was over this Phil anxiety, but to be honest I feel like jumping out of this car and running back to the airport. It would be a hell of a lot easier than facing him.”

“Why are you so afraid of seeing him?” She looked at the light which was still red. “I don’t get it, sweetie.”

“I don’t know.” I admitted. “I don’t know how to explain it.” I continued. “It’s like…you know when you had that big competition for hairstyles” I looked to Malorie and she nodded “and you were so excited about it, but yet you were scared that something would go horribly wrong and you had a nightmare that you cut off your client’s ear.”

“Gosh, that was awful!” Mal said as she remembered the dream.

“Right, well it’s like that for me.”

“You’re scared you’re going to cut Phil’s ear off?” Mal looked confused and laughed.

“Nooo” I rolled my eyes. “I’m scared that something could go horribly wrong.”

“Like what?” She turned into the parking lot of the bar and I felt like I should start breathing in a paper bag or something.

“Like, what if he’s disappointed? What if he doesn’t like me? What if I end up in love and alone?”

“Hand me my purse” she pointed next to my feet where her purse was sitting. How rude, I thought. Here I am pouring my heart out and she probably wants to re-apply lip gloss.

“I went to the store next to my place before coming to pick you up.” She said as she unzipped her purse. “Phil was working, so you have an hour or so to calm down before he shows up.” She explained. “So I’m on my way out of the store after paying for my gum, and Phil is like ‘Hey Mal, wait up!’”

I turned to her “What did he want?” I asked eagerly.

“He asked me to give this to you.” She turned on the light in the car and handed me a pack of skittles.

My heart melted; I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. He remembered.

“So…” Malorie gave me a confused look. “Is a bag of skittles the equivalent of a bouquet of flowers in the ‘Joyel and Phil world’?”

“Better.” I smiled as I remembered telling Phil the story about how my Papa would buy me a bag of skittles every Tuesday night after dance class. The tradition continued on even when dance class ended. I think a part of me associated skittles with the joy I had when spending time with Papa and because of it I was always obsessed with them. They made me happy and Phil knew that as long as I had my skittles, everything was going to be OK.

“Aw, so you’re both equally corny! How cute.” Mal laughed as I told her the story. “Am I a good match maker or what?” She smiled.

“The best!” I beamed.

We walked into Relay and I could see Keven’s tall frame in a distance. He had his arm around a blonde girl who looked like she could be his little sister.

“Who’s that with Kev?” I asked Malorie as we checked our coats.

“Oh that’s his new girlfriend” she rolled her eyes. “I think she’s in high school.” She giggled.

“Holy Guac! What is she doing in here?” I pointed to the 18+ sign at the entrance.

“She and her posse get in because Keven knows the new bouncer.”

“There’s more of them?”

“Oh yes, she usually travels with three others.” Malorie leaned in closer to me. “They get completely wasted and it usually results in Kev’s girlfriend crying for some reason or other, and then she yells at him and he has to bring her home.”

“There’s a keeper!” I laughed.

I walked up behind Keven and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and gave me the biggest hug and twirled me around. I could see his girlfriend standing behind him with her arms crossed, giving me the evil eye. OK. Please put me down before she gets drunk and yells at me. I thought.

“Kev, can you get me another drink?” she pouted and then kissed him on the cheek as if marking her territory.

“Sure.” And off he went, like a little puppy, to the bar to fetch a drink for her.

“I’m Alli” she extended her hand along with a fake smile.

“Oh!” I said taken aback. She did not come across as an Alli and for some reason I kind of expected her to present herself as Drizella Tremaine. “Nice to meet you Alli, I’m Joyel.” I said politely.

“I’m Keven’s girlfriend” she said as if it mattered to me. Seriously are we done here? I have to go mentally prepare for Phil, move over Drizella, I couldn’t help but think as I eyed Malorie standing with her hands on her hips yelling at someone for sitting at our table. I giggled as I watched her. Malorie would make a great CEO. I pictured her sitting upright in a swivel chair behind a big mahogany desk saying “you’re fired” in a Donald Trump way as Drizella went on about how she and Keven ended up dating. She was half smiling, a real smile, which was a huge step up from the evil eye she was giving me two minutes ago. Maybe Drizella and I could be friends, I thought. Maybe I could do her make-up for prom, oh! And Malorie could do her hair. She sure could use…

“Joyel!” I heard Malorie yell my name over the music.

“Well” I cut her off “it was nice meeting you…” I paused. Not Drizella, not Drizella, “Alli” I finally managed.

“Whatever” she scoffed. OK, definitely not BFF’s with Drizella any time soon

I quickly made my way over to the table where Malorie and Simon were sitting. I grabbed my cell phone to check the time. It read 11:03, which meant that Phil had just finished work and was probably on his way. I felt my stomach jolt as I thought about him walking in at any moment. My jaw was shaking and my body was numb as if I had just jumped in a pool full of ice.

“Thanks!” I grabbed the Gin and Tonic that Malorie had ordered for me.

“Thirsty much?” Malorie’s eyes widened as she watched me drink it down.

“Careful or you’ll end up like that one over there” Simon pointed to Alli aka Drizella who appeared to be drunkenly yelling at one of her friends, Anastasia, I assumed.  

“Why is she yelling at the poor goth looking girl with buck teeth? She obviously already has enough problems she doesn’t need that dumb twit yelling at her.” Malorie said in such a defensive tone that I thought she was going to march over there and slap Drizella, but she simply returned to her regular self; pointing out random people’s awful hair and asking me if she should go over and give them her card.

“What about that girl?” She pointed to a short stubby girl with practically no hair on her head.

“Her head is shaved.” I pointed out. “How could you possibly help her?” I played along.

“Well technically it’s not shaved” Mal paused and then continued “she does have a Mohawk” she explained.   

“Which girl?” Simon joined in.

“The one with the studded belt and her muffin top and ass hanging out” Malorie pointed directly at her.

“Mal!” I pulled her arm down. “Don’t point directly at her.”

“She looks familiar.” Malorie squinted as if she needed glasses and squinting would help her see more clearly.

“The girl with the Mohawk?” Simon questioned and Malorie nodded. “That’s Phil’s…” he paused and looked at me “that’s err…no idea.”

“Then why is she looking over here waving at you?” Mal said in a snooty tone as if to say ha! Got you.

“She is?” Simon turned his head. “She’s not waving at me?” He looked confused.

“OK. So she’s not waving at you, but why does she look familiar?” Malorie was interrogating Simon. I almost felt scared for Simon. Malorie would be the type of detective to beat the truth out of you with your own hand. “Did we go to high school with her?”

“No…” Simon sighed. “She’s Phil’s girlfriend.” He finally said.

I felt my heart sink. Phil’s girlfriend? What the hell does he mean? I felt myself get hot in the face. Both Simon and Malorie were looking at me as if they were expecting some sort of answer. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I wouldn’t have known what to say even if I could speak. My mind was racing. Phil’s girlfriend. I kept repeating the words over and over in my mind as if they would become easier swallow, but they didn’t.

“I thought he broke up with her?” Malorie and Simon were having a conversation, but I couldn’t focus on anything they were saying.

I grabbed my cell phone to check my text messages, but my inbox was empty. I picked up my Gin and Tonic and downed the rest of the drink. Simon and Malorie had stopped talking at this point and were just watching me. I looked over at Malorie’s drink and picked it up.

“May I?” I was shaking.

“Err yeah sure, go ahead.” Her eyes were wide.

I downed Malorie’s drink and hit the compose button on my phone.

You’re a fucking asshole

No, Joyel, be cool. I instructed myself.

Hey! You coming tonight? Fucking asshole

OK. Maybe that last part is too much. I thought and erased it before hitting send.

I was sitting alone at the table with Simon who was watching me like I was some circus act. Malorie was rushing back to the table in her heels with two shots and a drink in hand.

“My treat!” She smiled as she placed them in front of me.

“I guess your match making skills aren’t looking so hot now are they?” Simon laughed.

“Screw you, Simon!” Malorie retorted. “Take you medicine, sweetie.” She pointed to the drinks, instructing me.

I took my drinks, one after the other, as I waited impatiently for Phil to reply. I felt my phone vibrate and I jumped up.

“Did he answer?” I heard Malorie’s voice.

“I can’t look.” I handed her the phone.

She looked down at the phone and then back up at me. She shook her as if to say no and then placed her hand on my shoulder. Sorry she mouthed. “He’s not coming”.

“If it makes you feel any better, he tried to break up with her a bunch of times.” Simon said sympathetically.

“Well he should have tried harder!” Malorie read my thoughts. “Come on, grow some balls!” She shouted making Simon jump.

I looked over at Phil’s girlfriend, her muffin top in all its glory. Seriously? That’s who he’s with? Are you kidding me? What am I, chopped liver? A part of me wanted to go over there and meet her. Introduce myself as Phil’s friend and get to know the girl who is sharing his bed. Why not pour an entire jar of salt on the wound? I wondered. Another part of me wanted to tell her the truth. But what good would that do? I wasn’t anything to Phil, so I wouldn’t even know what to introduce myself as. I was just the scared little girl who just wanted to run home cry her broken little heart out.

“I’m sorry, but I think if you want to do something you should just have the balls to do it.” Malorie was explaining to Simon.

“You know what?” I smiled at Malorie. “That’s not a bad idea.” I grabbed my purse and made a bee line towards Phil’s girlfriend. My heart was pounding inside my chest and I felt like I could stress vomit at any moment. I could really use an anti-nausea sticker right now, I realized as my wobbly legs made their way up to her. I saw Keven standing right behind her. He noticed me and the expression on my face. His jaw dropped as he saw who I was looking at.

“Hi” I gave her my biggest smile as she turned to look at me.

“Err hello?”

“Since Phil can’t make it tonight, he asked me to give you this.” I handed her the pack of skittles. “You know, as an apology for not coming.” I said and smiled politely.

“Really?” She beamed. “How do you know my Phil?” My Phil. MY Phil. The way she said it made me want to rip that little Mohawk right off of her head. Well you see, your Phil, is actually the same Phil as MY Phil.

“Oh you know, just some girl who’s delivering skittles to his lovely girlfriend for him.” I smiled through my teeth. “Make sure you tell him Joyel delivered them for you OK?”

“Sure, no problem. Isn’t he sweet?”

“Oh the sweetest!” I beamed. “A real gem!”

I felt Keven grab me by the hand and I turned to face him. “You OK?” he leaned in closer to me.

“Tell Mal I left, will you?” I said; my face hot and my entire body shaking.

I made my way outside and felt the cold air on my arms. I felt like there was no amount of air in the world that could help me breathe. I managed to walk to the other side of the building where there was nothing but a garbage bin in sight. I slumped miserably on to the ground and started sobbing.

“Sweetie, here put on your coat.” Malorie stood next to me.

“I don’t want my coat” I whined. “I just…” I paused and sobbed some more before continuing “I just want my skittles back.” I sobbed.

“I know you do” Malorie picked me up off of the ground “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“I bet I’m giving Drizella a run for her money right now, huh?”

“Who?” Malorie gave me a confused look.

I shook my head as if to say never mind. Malorie whipped the tears off my face and attempted to fix my hair.

“So much for my fairy tale ending, huh?” I forced a laugh and Malorie gave me a sympathetic smile.

“On the bright side, at least my boob didn’t pop out!” I pointed to my dress.

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