I'm Coming Home - Part Deux

Run, Joyel, run! I instructed myself mimicking Jenny in Forrest Gump. With a carry-on bag in one hand and a Grande Macchiato from Starbucks in the other, I was making my way to Gate 21. It was the day before my birthday and I was rushing to get back home for my party; my flight was delayed so as luck would have it, my layover in Toronto became more of a “runover” from one terminal to another.

No, no, no. I saw a group of people at a stand-still at the top of the stairs that I was running up. A family of six was standing around a crying toddler, each one of them attempting to distract him from his tantrum long enough so they could get him off the floor.

“Somebody get the child a cracker” I shouted as I made my way around them. I was a woman on a mission with 5 minutes left before take-off. I felt like the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, repeating over and over in my head I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date. No time to watch your child cry, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late. And I was late for a very important, – no, an extremely important – date; a date with Phil.

As I arrived, I could see people boarding and felt relieved to have made it in time. I handed my ticket to the lovely lady in a navy uniform, and let out a sigh of relief as I walked through the door.

“Thank you!” I whispered to the universe.

I took my seat, my heart still racing. I pulled my trusty CD player out of my bag, placed in on my lap and waited impatiently for the stewardess to come do her little arm movements up front so we could take off. Why isn’t she doing them yet? Come on already!

Everywhere, people were standing – some were still boarding, and others were trying to shove their oversized duffle bags into tiny overhead compartments. Idiots. Sit down!  I mean seriously, how long does it take to board a plane? A woman in a long black trench coat was kneeling over, blocking the entire aisle, whilst others behind her were trying to get through to their seats. Come on lady, move over. I read the looks on their faces. I tilted my head to the side to take a peek at what she was doing. Perhaps she too dropped everything from her purse and is looking for a lost tampon. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt as I thought about my previous experience. At this point, the tampon could be anywhere.  I thought as I looked around the carpeted floor. Oh crap!  I jumped back to my upright position and quickly grabbed the Emergency Instruction Manual and hid my face behind it. Oh God, it can’t be. I slowly tilted my head out from behind the manual and took a second look. Sure enough, there they were. The family of six. “Crying Johnny” was on the floor and the lady in the trench coat, his mother I assumed, was pulling him across the aisle to get him seated. They probably didn’t hear you in the airport, I considered as I went back in hiding. I looked to my left and noticed the empty seats across from me. Nooooooo! I thought, my eyes wide, as I watched them take their seats. Even if they did hear, they were busy looking at “Crying Johnny”, ha! They didn’t even see me, surely. I placed the manual back into its pocket on the seat in front of me, and looked around the plane, confidently. “Crying Johnny” was, well, crying, but on the bright side the stewardess was making her way down the aisle to ensure seat belts were fastened, which meant we were about to take off. Finally! I’ll be home soon. I thought.

“Can we get anything for the little one?” I heard the stewardess next to me and looked up.

“No he’ll be fine in a moment, thank you.” The lady in the trench coat smiled. The stewardess moved ahead and the child’s mother's eyes met mine. “On second thought” she raised her hand and shouted happily at the stewardess “have you got any crackers?” her tone changed.

Definitely saw me. I realized and turned my head to look out the window. Even as the plane took off, I could still feel the entire family looking at me and whispering – except for “Crying Johnny” who was too busy crying to even look up. I grabbed my headphones and pressed play on my CD player. The low battery symbol appeared on the display and I searched through my bag to find new ones – but came up empty handed. Crap! I thought as I threw my bag back down on the floor in disappointment. Peeping from its pocket, I could see the Emergency Instruction Manual and images of people with masks on and their heads between their legs. Somewhere between the crying child and the evil looks, I actually considered pulling down my mask and getting high off the oxygen. But I opted to re-read my latest journal entries instead.

As I read through my last week of entries, I couldn’t believe everything I had experience in such a short amount of time. I drove from San Francisco to Vegas, stopping along the way. I walked down Hollywood Boulevard and Venice Beach. I even saw Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s house! I had read in a gossip magazine that Brad liked to walk around naked so I was super excited when I saw that his house was part of the Star Tour. Unfortunately, his fence was as high as the house – just like the rest of the stars. As if people actually care what is happening in their yards. Really. Unless Brad Pitt walks around his yard naked, then I absolutely do care.

Nevertheless I made it to Vegas, without a scratch - on me that is! OK, so to be honest,   I did accidentally scratch the front of the car on a sidewalk – but I found nail polish in the exact same color as the car. You totally couldn’t even tell anymore. I was quite proud of my artistic ability. Phil laughed when I told him this, but really I think he was jealous of my street smarts. I sent him postcards from every place I visited and even got him some cute little presents from just about every place. I also sent postcards to Mom, who to my surprise didn’t completely want to kill me when I told her where I was. She simply said I have to pay everything back by a certain date or she is making me move home to work off my debt - yuck! But at least I’m still alive. Plus, I couldn’t see why I wouldn’t be able to pay it back – after all it was just a little credit card bill, right?

I heard the pilot’s voice announcing our arrival at the airport and couldn’t help but feel butterflies as I thought about seeing Phil in less than 2 hours. I had texted him two days ago asking if he was still going to be at my party, but hadn’t heard back from him. He was busy with exams and had four assignments due so I figured he wasn’t checking his phone much. Plus, he told me he wouldn’t miss it and I believed him. My leg was jumping up and down on its own as I thought about it. I was so excited to give him his gifts, but I was even more excited for what the night had in store for us. Maybe I’ll quickly shave my legs when I get home...just in case.


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