Malorie begged me to go to the mall with Simon and her, but I badly wanted to get home to see if Phil was online. I knew I could just pick up the phone and call him, but just the thought of having to speak to him gave me anxiety so I opted for the computer. On the short walk home I went over the things that Simon said. Phil loved me. I couldn’t believe it. A part of me always thought that he did, I mean there were signs every now and then, but I always thought that if he loved me he would tell me. Wait a minute, I stopped in my tracks. If Simon knew that I loved Phil, and that Phil loved me, why didn’t he say something before? I realized. I placed my hand inside my tote bag and reached around for my cell phone. I’m going to give him a piece of my mind, that little...a beeping sound from my phone broke my train of thought. I looked down at the screen and saw the envelope icon flashing.
Happy Birthday Angel xX
That’s it? No ‘I’m sorry about last night’, or ‘Will you marry me?’ What kind of message is that? OK, so it is my birthday, I reasoned, maybe he doesn’t want to mention anything that could ruin my day, I considered as I quickly hit the reply button on my phone.
Thanks! Are you online?
I stood on the side of the road starring at the phone, waiting for a reply.
Yes.
The words were like the sound of a starter gun and I took off like I was doing the 100 meter race of a lifetime. I quickly unlocked my door, opened it, and rushed past Paddy nearly knocking her over.
“Sorry Paddy” I called out behind me. “See Paddy, mommy can say she’s sorry...it’s not that hard, is it now? Is It?” I gave Paddy a serious look and she put her head down in shame similar to the time I caught her on the table trying to dig in to my ham sandwich.
“No, no Paddy, you didn’t do anything wrong” I said in a soft voice. Gosh, poor Paddy. I almost knock her over and then I yell at her for no reason. “I’m a bad mommy ay Paddy?” I picked her up and gave her a big hug. “Crap!” Paddy’s eyes opened wide at the sound of my loud voice. I gently tossed her onto the futon and ran to the computer frantically. “Come on, connect” I ordered Audrey’s computer. My legs were restless as I watched my Instant Messenger connect. Normally, I would be pacing back and forth across my living trying to come up with something clever to say to Phil, but this time, I was leaving it up to him.
“Heads he tells me he wants to be with me”, I picked up a quarter from the desk, “Tails, he...err” I looked over at Paddy who was watching me like I was some lunatic. You’re not that far off, I thought as I closed the quarter tight in my hand. “Tails, he loses me” I tossed the quarter up in the air. It hit the ceiling and I followed it with my eyes as it fell behind the desk, through the cables. “Crap!” I got down on my hands and knees under the desk and reached my arm between the mess of cables and wires.
“Oh! There it is!” I could see the glare of the quarter behind an outlet power strip. I was on all fours in my sun dress when Paddy joined me under the desk and started jumping at my moving hand through the wires. “Paddy no! Mommy doesn’t want to play right now” I said firmly, but she wasn’t listening. She was on a hunt, and my hand was her prey. “Ouch! Paddy No!” I yelled as she put her little teeth into my hand. “Paddy get your furry little butt out of the way” I yelled. Startled, Paddy rolled over on the power bar. Everything went dark. “Nooooooo.” I wanted to cry. Paddy got up, licked her little paw and came over to sit beside me. She leaned her head on my arm. “It’s not your fault” I kissed her head. I grabbed the power bar and turned the switch to on. The phone immediately rang and I rushed out from under the desk to answer it.
“This is your cell phone service provider” a man’s voice came through the receiver. “Miss, I am calling because your account is three months past due and we will be cutting off your service effective immediately” his voice was stern.
“That’s impossible.” I paused. “I made an advance payment in March. For three months. It’s only May.” I explained.
“Yes, Miss, however you exceeded the set payment for April.” He paused. “Unless you pay the amount in full right now, we are forced to stop your service until you do make the payment.”
“And how much is it?” I managed
“The total of outstanding bills is $ 1927.89.” He paused as if expecting some type of answer on my part. “Will you be making that payment today?”
“I’m sorry? Did you say $ 1927.89?” I felt weak. I reached for the chair behind me and sat down.
“Yes, I did.” He said matter-of-factly.
“How is that even possible?”
“Well, I see here that were out of province, but kept the same number. There were roaming charges, and long distance charges, and...”
“OK. OK. I get it.” I cut him off.
“So, will you be making the payment today?”
“No.” My voice cracked. “I won’t.”
I hung up the phone and searched around the desk for bills. He was right. I owed close to $ 2000 and I had no idea how I was going to pay for it. I had maxed out my credit card on my trip, and had barely enough money left for next month’s rent. Plus, I owed Audrey.
“Paddy, what are we going to do?” I picked her and hugged her tight. “Some birthday huh?” I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
I pulled myself together and made a list. I grabbed the calculator and started tapping away. “OK. Paddy, so in total mommy owes” I hit the total sign and closed my eyes, as if making a wish. The screen read $ 5674.78. “WHAT?” I shouted. That can’t be right. But it was. I did the calculations over six times, and each time came up with the same total. How can that be?
“OK. There’s no reason for panic here, Paddy. Mommy is just going to have to get her old job back. That’s all. And Steven will give me an advance and everything will work out. Right?” I turned to face Paddy who had fallen asleep somewhere between the third and fifth calculation do-over.
I picked up my phone and dialled the hotel number.
“Steven, please. It’s Joyel calling.”
“Who?”
“Steven.” I repeated.
“What room number?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. She must be new, I thought. “I’m sorry. I’m calling to speak with Steven, the manager.”
“Oh, right.” There ya go, I thought. Good job, sweetie. Now just press the transfer button...
“Steven doesn’t work here anymore.” She said blatantly. “Would you like to speak with Ms. April?” Who? “She’s the new manager.”
“Err. Yes, please.” I cleared my throat.
“Annie April.” I heard her voice.
“Hello, Ms. April. My name is Joyel.” I paused half hoping she would have heard about me and my super great work ethic. But no. “Err, I used to work at the hotel and transferred out west. But I came back recently and was wondering if you had any openings?” Perfect. Gosh, I sound so professional. Surely she’s going to want to hire me solely based on this telephone call.
“Sorry Joanne, there aren’t any openings. You can send me your résumé and I’ll keep it on file. Good day!” She hung up.
“How rude!” I looked at my phone in disbelief. “That witch just called me Joanne, can you believe that Paddy?”
Paddy opened an eye and then curled around into a ball, turning her back to me. Well, fine then.
I turned to find my computer had finally rebooted and I quickly grabbed my mouse and clicked to open my Instant Messenger. Please still be online, please still be online, I crossed my fingers. Ha! It worked!
I quickly clicked on his username and wrote the words hello without even thinking. I didn’t care if he wasn’t the one writing to me first, and I didn’t know what I was going to say to him about last night. I didn’t even agonise over how our conversation would go. I didn’t over think it. Phil had this way of calming me and I needed that, plain and simple.
Phil: Hey, can’t really chat right now.
Joyel: OK.
I felt wretched and completely alone, despite Paddy who was ever so present running around playing.
“What ya got there Paddy?” I got down on the floor next to her. She was tossing something back and forth between her paws like she practicing her moves for the soccer tryouts. Is that...I took a closer look and right there underneath her little white paw was the glare of the quarter. My quarter. At this point I knew that she had probably turned it from heads to tales about a hundred times, and I knew the outcome of it all didn’t really matter anymore. I felt like my life was falling apart around me. Phil had moved on. I didn’t want my mind to wander off and do its usual thing where it makes up these scenarios of what he could possibly be doing right now that would prevent him from talking to me, but I couldn’t help but picture him sitting by a computer with his girlfriend.
On top of everything, my financial situation was a complete mess, and less than an hour ago I was squatting under a desk. Things were far from picture perfect and despite everything that was going wrong I felt like that shiny quarter could give me hope.
“Heads everything is going to work out, tails...well we all know how this game works...move your paw Paddy” I ordered her as I reached for the quarter.
Hmph! Tails. I noted. It’s just a stupid game anyway. I thought, tossing the quarter in the corner or the living room, Paddy running quickly after it.
“Don’t eat that quarter Paddy, money’s tight” I yelled back at her, half laughing.
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